Aparajeeta
by Sanchari Das
Summary: The soul of the girl who is killed even before birth comes to haunt her family in search of justice.


_**Aparajeeta**_

"It's a girl," the nurse finally came back to break the dead silence and was at once greeted by all sorts of disappointed looks.

"See, as if such a daughter-in-law wasn't enough, so hell sent us a grand-daughter!" shouted an angry fat grandmother. Her husband seemed equally disappointed.

"I knew something like this was going to happen. This is what happens when an impure woman…," Rahul began, but stopped as his brother eyed him.

"Why are you eyeing my husband, Rohanji? Show those to your wife who had brought such a shame to our family," shouted an angry Riya.

"We can see to it later, Riya. This is not the time and place for it," Rohan said, trying to remain as calm as possible. Then, turning to the surprised nurse, he asked, "How's my wife?"

"She's fine and taking rest now. We'll call you as soon as she wakes up," said the nurse. "And, the baby is fine too, if anyone is at all bothered about her," mocked the nurse, throwing a disgusted look at this back-dated family and turned back to go.

"Is she beautiful?" Rohan somehow managed to ask.

"Like an angel from heaven," the nurse smiled.

Time passed and months rolled into years. Soon, everyone got used to the little girl, whom his father named Angel, like they had got used to her mother, Sima. But none missed an opportunity to insult Sima whenever possible. She used to protest like she did before the birth of her daughter, but later stopped when she saw the family taking revenge by punishing her little Angel. Sima tried a thousand times to convince Rohan to leave the house, but he was reluctant to the idea. When things became unbearable, they were forced to come to the solution that until Sima gives birth to a boy, their misery would never end.

So Sima had to conceive again. On the sixth month of her pregnancy, when they visited the doctor, Rohan asked him about the sex of the child.

"What are you asking Rohanji? This is illegal," said the astonished doctor.

"I know, I know, doctor. But trust me, we are helpless. If this time too, it's a girl our family would make our lives more miserable. So, please doctor, help me," he pleaded.

"No, no, Rohanji. That's not possible. We don't, we can't do this…," the doctor 'pretended' to remain adamant.

At this, Rohan took out a piece of paper with his signature on it and held it in front of the doctor. "This is a blank check, doctor. Put whatever amount you wish but, please, tell me the sex of the baby, for God's sake," Rohan cried, beginning to lose his patience.

The doctor at first stared blankly at his face and then slowly took the check and asked his nurse to bring Sima's files. He, then, searched all through the ultrasonography reports, stealing glances at Rohan time and again. Finally, he looked up from the files and declared, "I'm sorry, Rohanji, she's expecting a girl again."

Rohan, who had been trying hard to control his anxiety all these while, finally broke down and fell on the floor, and cupping his face with his hands begun crying. Hearing him, Sima, who had been waiting patiently outside the doctor's chamber, rushed in and seeing Rohan in that state threw astonished glances at the doctor and the nurse. They, then, explained everything to her. Meanwhile, Rohan had composed himself and stood up. But Sima seemed to be in a trance—on one hand the thought of giving birth to another girl child and the misery that would follow pained her and on the other hand the thought of killing the innocent life inside her broke her down. She gave one last glance at her husband and then silently walked out of the hospital and sat wordlessly in their car. They kept quiet all their way back home.

Back at home, when Rohan disclosed the news of the baby girl inside Sima, it came as a lightning bolt to them and they begun cursing Sima calling her 'impure' and that such a woman like her can never give birth to a boy child and all she could do is to bring misfortune to the family. They went on until she finally decided to abort the baby.

Next morning, Sima and Rohan went to the hospital to smear their hands with innocent blood and their soul with pitch darkness. At first, the doctor refused, but money talks.

They decided to go for the cheapest technique where the abortion happens within an hour, although the potential health risk to the mother is very intensive and largely unexplained in that case. But then, who would care for the impure mother who can only give birth to girls? If killing Sima was as 'legal' as killing a baby inside the womb, they would probably have done that long before.

After the abortion, Sima became extraordinarily quiet. The protesting girl in her had long died and now the mother in her was dying too. The guilt of killing an innocent life haunted her day and night until one day the innocent soul herself came to haunt their house.

It began with a ball rolling down the staircase all by itself and bumping up and down as if someone is playing with it. When Sima saw that to occur she couldn't even believe her eyes. Yet, she decided to stay mum. Then, once while having her lunch all alone, she suddenly saw the remote flying and the television turned on and tuned itself to the cartoon channel. Sima forgot to chew and heard someone laughing. Such melodious was her laugh that she even forgot to feel afraid. Still, she didn't say anything. On days when she used to make sweetmeat balls, she often noticed some of them to vanish all by themselves. Yet, she didn't get frightened and had only smiled weakly. She even saw colour pencils dance in air and paint all over the walls of their verandah. It had made her smile wider.

Once while cooking, she suddenly heard someone calling her 'Mamma', from behind. Thinking it to be Angel, she turned back. But it wasn't Angel. Sima looked under the table which was Angel's favorite hiding place. But that was empty too. The voice called her again and it was so like the way Angel called her that the thought of her second daughter didn't occur to her. But when the call was followed by a giggle and the words—"Mamma can't find me, Mamma can't see me, ever again!"—a chill ran down her spine and she rushed to Angel's room. But she found her engrossed in deep slumber. She went nearer and sitting beside her brushed her hairs, when she again heard the voice say—"Mamma had two angels. Mamma will have no angel!" The words kept on repeating itself in a sweet soft childish voice, until Sima dropped on the floor unconscious.

When she regained consciousness, she tried to narrate everyone all the incidences that she has seen to occur in the last few days, but none believed her. Some said she's lying while some claimed her to be mad. But Rohan believed that she was just hallucinating. He knew that Sima wasn't able to get over the shock of the abortion of her baby and perhaps that was the reason she was hallucinating, he thought. The doctor too felt the same and suggested her to take rest for a few days.

Sima was woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of a tennis ball. She sat up and look beside her. Angel was fast asleep. Then, she heard a giggle in that same sweet voice. Rohan was sleeping beside her. She called him and asked, "Can you hear that? Can you hear our daughter's laughter?"

"What are you talking about, Sima? Our daughter Angel is asleep beside you. Can't you see?" Rohan said, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"Not her, Rohan. It's our second daughter—the one whom we had killed…"

"What are you saying Sima? You are again hallu…," Rohan stooped abruptly as he heard the voice say—"Daddy can't see me. Daddy will hear me. But Daddy doesn't love me. I hate my daddy," followed by a few sobs and then silence.

"What was that?" Rohan asked, trying hard to recover from the shock.

"Our daughter, Rohan, it was our second daughter. Oh, Rohan, she could not stay without us, so she had come back. We shouldn't have killed her, we SHOULDN"T!" Sima sobbed.

"It's… It's nothing like that, Sima. Calm down. You need rest. Come-on, now sleep. Don't cry, Sima," Rohan tried to calm her down and made her lie down on her bed beside him. But none could sleep that night.

Next morning, the voice again visited her mamma in the bedroom and her daddy in his office. She even went to her grandma and called her a "witch" and went to Riya and whispered "evil" into her ears.

In the evening, she visited her sister. Angel loved the way the voice called her "didi" but was afraid out of her wits when she saw nobody in its direction. She was about to cry and run to her mamma, when she heard the voice say—"Didi, come let's play hide and seek, I'm concealed, didi. Come, find me." Excited at the offer, Angel began running all over the room trying to find out the voice, while the voiced shouted, "Didi can't see me, didi can't find me" accompanied by a lot of giggles.

Hearing the giggles, Sima rushed towards their room. But before she could run upstairs, she saw Angel near the staircase, desperately trying to find something.

"What are you looking for, Angel?" Sima cried.

"I'm through playing hide and seek with my little sister, mamma. She's hiding but I'll surely find her soon," she retorted.

"Didi, you won't find me here, Come, didi, come to me, we would stay together forever…," said the voice and before she could react, Sima saw Angel tripping from the staircase with her face red with blood desperately shouting for help while she vainly tried to grab hold of the railings. Sima helplessly stared at the horrific scene and heard the voice cry—"Come didi come. Endure the pain, for I had once done the same and then we would be reunited forever…," before she lost her senses and fell on the floor.

When she gained consciousness, she saw Rohan and Angel sitting by her side. The others haven't even bothered to come. Yet she was happy seeing Angel safe beside her. She took her in her lap and kissed her all over, while Rohan went out to fetch some water. Then, she heard the voice say—"Mamma loves didi. Mamma hates me. Mamma killed me. Now, I will kill didi…" And at once, a knife came running towards Angel but stopped at an inch from her stomach. Sima gave a loud cry and Rohan came running to her.

"What happened?" he asked, and then turning to Angel said, "You go and play outside." Angel followed.

"She… she threatened to kill Angel and threw a knife at her," she said, and broke down.

"Hey, hey, Sima, don't cry. Nothing is going to happen to our daughter. She's safe, you saw her, right. She will be safe, Sima…," he said to console her.

But then, as if to mock his last sentence, they heard loud shouts from Angel—"Mamma, save me… Daddy, save me!" Afraid and shocked, they ran towards the sound that was coming from the terrace.

When they reached there, they found that the door of the terrace was locked and heard Angel shouting from inside. The other members too have gathered outside the terrace by then. They ran towards the window and flung opened it and what they saw turned their stomach to ice. Angel was shouting and running all over the terrace and from above fell like rain thousands of small pieces of glass. But they weren't hurting her, neither was there any sign of any injury in her body. Yet, they were giving her and her parents the feeling of seeing death so near.

Then, they heard the voice speak—"Mamma, Daddy, see, see with your own eyes, how your Angel is trying to run from death. I too had tried to do the same when the doctors tried to kill me, but I failed. Will I make her fail too, Mamma?" And then she burst into laughter.

"No, no, leave my daughter! Leave my Angel! I'm your culprit. Punish me. Angel didn't do anything. She's innocent, leave her…," Sima pleaded.

"I was innocent too, mamma. Grandma was the culprit. Then why did you punish me? Why didn't you punish her? Why, mamma, why?" the voice cried and broke down into sobs, while they stood awestruck, shocked and speechless at the innocent question thrown by their little daughter.

Then suddenly, the door opened and out came Angel unharmed, but too frightened to speak. Sima ran towards her and she dropped unconscious in her arms. The voice spoke again—"I was innocent mamma, but you killed my innocence. But she's my sister, I won't ever be able to harm or kill her. I love her. I'm not like my grandma." Sima broke down into sobs.

Angel was taken to her bed and she regained consciousness shortly after, but was still too afraid to speak. The doctor prescribed a few medicines and complete rest. Sima and Rohan stayed awake all night and watched their daughter sleep.

At the end of the night, they must have fallen asleep for a minute or so, and when they woke up they couldn't find Angel on the bed. They looked around in distress and saw "Come to the Terrace" written in red on the walls. Riya and Rahul saw a similar writing on the walls of their room. Grandma was shocked to find out the same in her wall but later composed herself and prepared to follow. They all came out of their rooms and went up to the terrace.

This time they found the terrace door open and they all entered it. They found Angel in the middle of it but she didn't seem to be in her senses and the look on her death-like eyes devoid of all emotions with a ghastly whiteness spread all over her face made them feel sick in the stomach. And when she opened her mouth, it was the voice that spoke.

"Granny, why did you force mamma to kill me? Why? You are a girl too, granny and if your mother had killed you in her womb how would have you given birth to two sons?" she asked, while her grandma stood there speechless.

"Without a woman how will one give birth to a boy? How then giving birth to a girl brings shame?" she asked again but was greeted with no reply.

"Does anyone of you know how painful it is to die inside a mother's womb? Do you have any idea how hard it is to endure the burning pain for one long hour?" the voice sobbed.

"I'm sorry, dear, I'm so sorry…," Sima sobbed with her.

"I was in a deep slumber when suddenly I inhale and even swallow some kind of a poisonous solution and my whole body began burning. In these six months, I had grown so close to my mamma. She used to caress me often and tickle my nose. I grew so attached to her during these months that I thought I am completely safe in my mother's womb. But then, the doctor's sharp needle proved how gravely mistaken I was! Instead of protecting me from all dangers, my mother allowed the doctor to push something into me that made me suffocate. I convulsed in great pain on my chest and felt as if my heart was slowing down and would stop any moment. My lungs felt as if it's in fire. I cried in pain and asked mamma to stop but she couldn't hear me. I tried to breathe but couldn't—neither my nose nor my mouth allowed that. I could see my soft sober skin burning and I wasn't even able to stop that. I wondered what crime have I committed that my mother was punishing me like this. Can't she feel my pain and forgive me once? I said sorry to her several times but the pain only grew in intensity to an extend that I could neither speak nor breathe. After a long time that felt like eternity, the solution completed doing its deadly job."

"Oh, stop, stop!" Riya cried and fell on the ground, "We don't want to hear…," she said with tears in her eyes.

"No, no… I won't stop, Riya kaki, I WON'T! You will have to listen to me. You all WILL have to listen to all that you have done to me," the voice cried back and continued, "My heart finally gave way and my lungs burned to ashes. My breathing stopped and I was ultimately declared "dead". My soul eventually got relieved from all the tortures and came out of mamma's body. I watched her as she laid there in the hospital bed, crying. Then suddenly it felt as if she is in pain and the doctors rushed to her. I thought she was going to die too. But no, I was wrong and I realized after sometime that she was actually giving birth to a lifeless burnt body—the body that was supposed to be mine's, but was now laying shattered, shriveled and burned to bits. Then, suddenly a fierce gust of angry wind got hold of me and dragged me into a dark place. I was afraid. And, now that mamma was not there with me, I felt all alone there. But then I saw millions and millions of souls like me all of whom had been killed in the some way or the other inside their mother's womb."

At this point Rahul began crying. Rohan had tears in his eyes too. Sima was speechless and in a trance listening to all that her child had suffered, or rather she had made her suffer.

"Just when I was so excited that in three months I would be out of the dark place, suddenly something sends me to an even darker place forever. There are no lights, no day, where the souls of the children like us live," the voice continued weeping, and then turning to her grandma said, "Granny, you remember that dark place in the under-ground where your mother-in-law kept you locked up for two whole days as a punishment for making a widow wear bangles? It's even darker there where we live, granny. And, I met your daughter there too, granny. Your mother-in-law had forced you to abort her, isn't it, granny?"

Grandma was too shocked, pained and terrified to respond to anything her grand-daughter said. All she could do was to stand frozen to the spot while silent tears dropped from her eyes and rolled down her checks.

After a long pause, "How is my daughter?" was all she could say.

"She was sad. Very sad. And, afraid. But, granny, don't worry. She will be fine, now, for I have send her to Riya kaki's tummy!" the voice said and giggled.

"What?" Riya said and looked up. Granny smiled at her. Riya looked down and hugged her stomach and smiled.

"Granny, now I want mamma to do the same for me, as well. She will have to bear me in her womb. Granny, I gave your daughter a new life, won't you allow my mom to do the same for me?"

Grandma nodded as tears of joy replaced the painful tears that flowed down her eyes all the while and smiled.

"Thank you, granny. Good luck, mamma. Bye-bye…," said the voice and laughed.

The abnormal look on Angel's eyes vanished as she dropped down on the floor. Everyone rushed to pick her up and made her lie down on her bed.

9 months later…

Riya and Sima were being taken to the labor room when they both saw a blue light enter into their stomach. They looked at each other, and even in that unbearable pain, they managed to smile.

As expected, they gave birth to two beautiful daughters and the whole family rejoiced and celebrated their arrival, much to the awe of the nurse who had once saw the same people frown at and even kill a girl child. Angel danced in joy when she actually saw her real visible little sister who had grabbed her index finger with all her might when she tried to tickle her nose.

Later, Riya named her daughter Ayushi—the one who has a long life and Sima named her daughter Aparajeeta—the one who cannot be defeated.


End file.
